Raised on a diet of Chef Boyardee

La Femme Follette takes time out in her nattering about whatever to write a few pointed paragraphs about la Gluten Free Girl.

Anyhow, the point is that whenever I read an allergen-free food weblog, the person will -- Shauna Ahern is a great example of this -- go into the narrative history and detail the process of the adaptation, the misses, the fails, the rest, and never mind that her recipes do not work, anyhow, but she will every single time have at least 15% of her comments be from weaklings who are all, Well, that sure looks good, but I am allergic to eggs and do you think that I could use an egg substitute and have it turn out just as delicious as this, blah, blah, blah.

No, it will not, because when you substitute ingredients, you compromise or sacrifice or completely re-engineer quality and mouth feel and stop being such a weakling, you can not have everything, shut up.

That is exactly what it would look like at this weblog if ever I hosted accidentally-on-purpose a bunch of free-ranging, desperate, allergic people. It seems like it would be bad behavior to post adapted recipes, thus passively inviting people to read here when all they would do is irritate me to death. Ahern once wrote about how she gets emails from people wanting to know how they can still eat factory-produced, trade-named garbage foods, and what is the substitute f0r that. I would burn the internet to the ground if I got that email. Sorry, internets. I would apologize at my sentencing to all of you who lost the internet to arson, I would, but still.

So, anyhow. Ahern's recipes never work for me, anyway. They might work for you. Go with God & good luck. It helps, I guess, if you were raised on a diet of Lipton soup mixes, Chef Boyardee, and Oreo cookies.

I have been intrigued by Elana Amsterdam for a long time. First of all, her recipe text lacks hysteria and gluttonous slavering.